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Tonya Montella

Comparing Yourself to Others? Do This Instead

Updated: Aug 14, 2023


Comparing yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others is something that we’re all guilty of. It’s easy to get distracted by other people’s success, especially in the workplace. You start wondering, ‘why them, and not me?’...’how did they get there, and why am I not in the same place?’...’what’s so special about them?’...’they seem to have it all figured out, meanwhile I’m a complete mess!’


The thing is, none of these thoughts are productive. They don’t get you any closer to achieving what you want in your career.


Comparing yourself to others is just a distraction which causes you frustration and prevents you from accomplishing your goals.


It can also cause you to respond defensively or irrationally towards them or your manager! I’ve spoken to a couple of women recently who find themselves in this pattern of comparison and competition. The interesting thing about both of them is that they’re CRUSHING it in their own right.


Comparing themselves to their coworkers and feeling a sense of competition is weighing them down, when in fact they’re well on their way to advancement. They both want to climb the corporate ladder, but because they see their peer getting promoted or shining bright in meetings, they get discouraged about where they are…which is in a place of strong performance!


I found this article about the upsides and downsides of workplace competition to be really interesting. It states that research cited in Merryman’s Top Dog book revealed that 25% crumble in a competitive environment. Another study showed that 55% of people with a workplace rivalry found that it created undue stress and reduced their productivity.


I can remember the last time this happened to me. I felt that others with less experience were lapping me when it came to their advancement. And while that may or may not have been true, instead of focusing on them I decided to shift my energy into focusing on ME.


I started asking myself some really important questions to help me refocus. Then instead of comparing, I started connecting. Connecting with others in order to learn, expand my network, and make more progress to getting myself to the place that I wanted to be.


Are you comparing yourself to others? Is it causing you to be defensive at work? Is it making you feel discouraged and sad, instead of feeling motivated and inspired? Is it making you feel stuck?


Yeah, I think we can all relate. And I realize that you might feel overwhelmed at the thought of how to change this. Don’t worry…I’ve simplified things in this short video 3 Ways To Get Unstuck. Included are a handful of empowering reminders to leave you feeling motivated and inspired to reach your goals 😉



Focus on running your own race so that you can reach your finish line. Looking around at where others are will only distract you from keeping your eye on the prize.

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